Marriage Therapy

Marriage therapy, also known as marriage counseling, helps couples rebuild a shaky relationship or sometimes, helps them dissolve it. This type of counseling usually involves both partners and may be short or long term, depending on the therapist, and extent of the problems. Every counselor who offers marriage therapy has their own philosophy and way of working which should be explained during the first session, or before.

Marriage Problems that can be helped by Marriage Therapy

Conflict Resolution

Each spouse brings their parent’s conflict management habits into their marriage. The habits may be similar but not effective, or very different, and cause another clash on top of the original one. Marriage therapy can teach couples how to communicate, even when tempers flare.

Problems Communicating Feelings

Being open enough to share feelings, and to listen, requires a bit of courage for many of us. Marriage therapy can teach those skills and is there to keep the therapy session safe while a couple practices what they have learned.

Money Issues

Finances are one of the top three divisive issues in a marriage. Discussing money in a marriage therapy program can bring up issues that do not seem finance related since money is important to our safety, survival, and pleasure. A therapist can help with the obvious financial problem(s) and the underlying emotional issues as well. Marriage therapy can help to clarify financial problems and put them in their proper context.

Problems in the Bedroom

Problems about intimacy can be physical, emotional, or mental. It is best to rule out any physical problems before seeing marriage therapy. There are therapists that specialize in sex therapy but all licensed therapists are qualified to help.

Child Rearing and Blending Families

What if your problems are around parenting styles, or how to manage a child with behavior issues? Family therapy can be used as marriage counseling when immediate family is the focal point of a couple's problems, or if they need assistance blending two families.

Distrust and Infidelity

Marriage counseling can help couples open up to one another, increasing their level of trust. Partners might also work on jealousy, dependency, and control issues, or process extramarital affairs. The therapy can strengthen a marriage, or reveal a lack of a foundation to continue the relationship as is.

Substance Abuse

Rifts in marriage can occur when one (or both) partners is abusing a substance, or because one (or both) is getting treatment and changing the dynamics of the relationship. Counselors can help couples communicate and resolve hurts and resentments built-up over time. It might be recommended that the substance abuser receives treatment for that problem before participating in marriage counseling.

Emotional or Physical Abuse

A counselor should determine, if necessary, that each partner is living where they are safe from harm before beginning therapy. If an abusive partner is creating a dangerous or threatening environment, the abuser will likely require individual therapy before, or in conjunction with, marriage counseling.

Separation or Divorce

Sometimes couples want to explore whether they should remain together. Others may want to separate but try to work things out meanwhile. There are marriage therapists who are certified in negotiating amicable divorce settlements.

Marriage Counseling Techniques

When couples attend marriage therapy they can expect to openly discuss their thoughts and feelings about the marriage and their partner. This isn't easy, but therapists know it may take time before clients are comfortable enough to share. Counselors are prepared for couples that argue during sessions or sit in angry silence, and everything between.

Therapists use a variety of techniques in marriage therapy, such as:

Teaching, coaching, and education:

marriage counselors teach communication, listening, and management of thoughts and emotions; they educate clients about feelings and the ingredients of good relationships.

Role playing:

marriage counselors may role play with each client separately, or have the couple role play as themselves, someone else, or each other.

Reflecting back:

this requires each person to summarize what their partner has just said before they can share their own thoughts.

Homework:

some therapists give their client’s homework to complete (together or individually); it could be anything from journaling, writing a list, or doing something fun together during the week.

Look for patterns:

a counselor will reveal to each couple their patterns or habits of relating that are ineffective such as talking over one another when trying to make a point.

Adusting expectations:

if expectations of our spouse are unrealistic they likely will not be met; couples need to know what realistic expectations are.

Sometimes only one person in the relationship goes to marriage counseling, usually because the other refuses to attend. A solo client can still learn new skills and gain a better understanding of a relationship’s problems.

Marriage therapy, or couples counseling, is facilitated by licensed therapists and social workers. Some therapists specialize in marriage therapy when earning their graduate or postgraduate degree.

I hope that you have found this marriage therapy article useful.